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How to Make a Better You – Where’s Your Identity

by Nina Sabin - Healthy Tip

Everyone sometime in their life asks the question “What is my purpose?”, “Where is my identity?” Often these questions can lead to anxiety, depression, and feelings of unworthiness.

The problem is we are our worst enemy, thinking we aren’t reaching our potential.

Society says your identity is in your job, your family, and your possessions. However, those things don’t stay the same and aren’t really fulfilling your purpose. They are usually temporary and lead to stress and frustration. In a job, your position may change, you may not get that promotion, or you even have to change companies. Most people change jobs at least 10 - 15 times in their life time. That is often because the job doesn’t bring satisfaction or feeling of a purpose. Stay-at-home mothers try to find their identity in their children. However, as children grow up and need less care, mothers struggle with what is next now that their purpose is gone. If you feel your identity is in your possessions, you will always be competing because bigger better things are developed all the time. As the saying goes – it is almost impossible to keep up with the ‘Joneses’.

So if the job, family, and possessions are not our purpose – what is? This is where the controversial subject of God and religion comes into play. We were created and designed for a purpose. God designed us uniquely and we are wonderfully made. He had a plan in mind for our lives when He created us. He designed each of us with specific talents, skills, ambitions, etc. so that He can fulfill His purpose for our life. Jeremiah 29:11 states – I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.

I used to struggle with my identity is in what I do. I was clearly a perfectionist and wanted to have everything in my life work perfectly. I didn’t know how to sit still and would involve myself in every activity that I possibly could. Those of us who are from Generation X may remember the commercial of the lady who appeared to have it all together. The jingle went like this – “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never forget my man…” This image made it look like that is the purpose for a woman’s life. However, in the end most of us cannot meet up to that idealistic image and that causes us frustration and disappointment in ourselves. When that happens depression can happen and feelings of failure.

It took falling into to depression to learn my identity is not in what I do but in who I am in Christ. I was not brought up in the church, in fact I have a Jewish heritage. As a teenager, God took a hold of my heart and showed me that He is my creator and my purpose. Overtime, life got in the way, and I lost site of the fact that God has a plan for my life and I have to keep my eyes focused on Him, and not what I can accomplish, to succeed in life.

There is the world’s view of our purpose and identity and then there is God’s view. The world’s view brings us frustration, dismay, and unhappiness overtime. God’s view brings satisfaction, purpose, and peace. Which would you rather believe?

How do you learn God’s purpose for your life?

1) Read your Bible daily – these verses are a great in helping you seek your purpose – Psalm 57:2 NIV “I cry out to the God Most High, God’s purpose for your life”; Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth; so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts on your thoughts.”

2) Memorize scripture – knowing scripture in your heart will help you see God’s purpose for your life in each situation. Psalm 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

3) Submit your life to Christ – You are not your own, you were bought with a price. God loves us so much that He sacrificed His only son for us. How can we not be willing to follow His purpose for our life? John 3:16

4) If you never accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior – pray this prayer – The Sinner’s Prayer. Your life will be changed and you will see God’s will is your purpose. Dear God, I understand that Jesus died on the cross for my sins so I could be in relationship with You and go to heaven. I’m sorry for living a life without You at the center. Please forgive me for all my sins. I want to follow You for the rest of my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

5) Meditate – on God, His plan. Let go of your old ways and truly be willing to let God take the lead of your life. Isaiah 26:3

6) Prayer is always the answer when you are not sure what is your purpose or identity. So pray often and daily to God. 1 John 5:14

How to Make a Healthier You? ...Know that your purpose comes from God and not your job, your family, or your possessions. Please share your thoughts on Health Chat with Nina. Also you can e-mail me at if you want to know more about how to have or improve your relationship with God.


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