How to Make a Better You – Is Your Love Tank Full?
By Nina Sabin - Healthy Tip
Did you know every successful experience in life is due to your love tank being full? When you feel loved, it is like you can climb the highest mountain, reach the stars, accomplish anything you set your mind to. But when you love tank is empty it feels like your balloon has deflated, you feel stuck with no way out and there is no motivation to go forward or try. It is like a gas tank in a car, when it is full you can go anywhere and do anything, but when it is empty you can go nowhere.
Let’s start with what is a love tank. Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages describes that every person has a love tank. “One’s love tank is full when you feel extraordinary amounts of love coming from your partner. The issue is it empties a little every single day, so you must find ways to replenish it.”
When we first meet our spouse or partner our love tank filled every day. That is because each of us do what we can to show the love the other person needs. However, time and life pull us away from spending the effort to help fill our significant others love tank. We get complacent in our ways and don’t do those extra things that make them feel special, important, and loved.
I have learned from experience I can try to fill my days up with things that I think will bring me the love I need to fill my tank. But it never measures up to the way God intended a man and woman’s relationship to fill the love tank.
It doesn’t just happen; you have to work together to make changes in your life to improve your relationship and fill up each other’s love tank. It starts with awareness and being willing to ask your partner, how can I fill up your love tank today? The problem is, like most relationships, there is a lot of baggage with hurt feelings, frustrations, and poor choice of words that have made it difficult to get to your love tank, let alone fill it up. It begins with clearing the clutter of past hurts. My husband always tells me I can’t do anything about the past, I can only move forward. I agree with him, with the addition to show remorse and forgiveness of the past hurts, learn from them, and yes, then move forward to not repeating those same behaviors that causes the hurts.
James Dobson has a family institute where they have inspirational podcasts to help with relationships and families. This particular one, What Women Should Know About Men & What Men Should Know About Women, has really helped my husband and I look deeper into our relationship and to see the ways we can fill each other’s love tank.
We all tend to get in ruts in life where we forget how important relationships are. They are more important than climbing up the corporate ladder, more important than having the best home, car, job, lots of money, etc. (Intimacy trumps financial success)
God is all about relationships and having successful loving relationships that fill our love tank.
Here are five tips on filling your partner’s love tank and getting your love tank full (How you communicate is the Key – these 5 tips come from 5 Helpful Bible Verses about Marriage Communication All Couples Should Know):
1) Be Mindful of Your Words - Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14
2) Words Matter - There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
3) Restraint Equals Knowledge - Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Proverbs 17:27
4) Listening is Communicating - If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13
5) About Anger - Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to get angry. James 1:19
What is your takeaway from today’s blog? To get your love tank full and fill your partner’s love take it will take work on both parties. Work that is worth it for your relationship, your health, and your life. Start by clearing the clutter (or the baggage) from the past. Next look at behaviors and areas in your relationship that are not going well. Use the tools (resources) provided in this article to help you move forward in your relationship to fill each other’s love tank. Your relationship is important, you met and fell in love, don’t let that love be gone… you are never stuck, and any relationship can be fixed if both partners are willing.
It can be hard to make these relationship changes on your own, however with support and accountability it becomes possible.
As a healthy life coach, I can give you the tools, support, and accountability to help you communicate better with your partner which in turn helps you and your partner have a full love tank. What is holding you back from making changes today to have a better and healthier relationship.
Give your relationship a boost it needs to fill your love tank by contacting me today for a Complimentary Breakthrough Session. You will be so happy that you did.