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How to Make a Better You – Don’t Let Your Thoughts Control You

Updated: Oct 19, 2018

by Nina Sabin - Healthy Tip



Our mind is a wonderful but dangerous place. We can fantasize with our thoughts, but we can also cause ourselves a lot of grief and pain. Have you ever heard the phrase “Lost in Your Thoughts”? That can be good and bad depending on what the thoughts that you are lost in.

So the question is: how we can take control of our thoughts? Turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts?


Growing up, I was lost in my thoughts more often than not. Those thoughts were not always good for me. I would compare myself to others and think I am not as smart as that person, or I don’t look as good as they do, or they seem so happy why can’t I be as happy as they are. As I continued to focus on those thoughts that affected my well-being both physically and mentally.


My worst situation is when my second daughter was born. I was reading a book about how an infant should behave at each stage. My daughter didn’t meet those “standards” and I thought I must be doing something wrong and a terrible mother. I focused on the thoughts so much that it led me to depression and I had difficulty functioning.


Often we have unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others. Since we and others can’t meet up to our expectations we set ourselves and others up for failure. Therefore, we need to start our thoughts will realistic expectations. We need to remember no one is perfect and we can’t expect that for ourselves or anyone else. We all make mistakes and that is OK, we learn from our mistakes. We may not learn right away, but over time we might see how we could have done things differently.


You heard of “laughter is the best medicine.” Well that is very true. If you can laugh at yourself when you make a mistake, it can relieve the tension and help you and others not be so serious. It is actually very healthy to laugh. Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, anxiety and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert. It also helps you to release anger and be more forgiving.


I have read two amazing books that have helped me to learn to get my thoughts under control.


Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers and Lord, Change My Attitude Before It Is Too Late by Josh McDonald. This study guide goes along very well with his book and really helps you learn to take control of your thoughts and attitude.


Here are steps to help you stay healthy by keeping your thoughts under control.


1) Be aware of your thoughts – if they are negative stop them (don’t focus or address them) and see how you can change them to positive thoughts.

2) Be aware of your expectations for yourself and others. Are they unrealistic?

3) A way to catch yourself from having negative thoughts is, as soon as they enter your mind, stop those thoughts by using a word of your own that reminds you to stop what you are thinking. (example: Hush-a-by, Sweetheart, Strongman, etc)

4) Give yourself a break. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Whatever, is causing your thoughts – take a break, go for a walk, or do something that makes you feel good.

5) Laugh even you don’t feel like it. Watch a funny videos to see if it can take you mind off your thoughts. Realize this is a great way feel better.

6) Read a Daily Devotional.

7) Pray daily and give your thoughts to God.

8) Surround yourself with uplifting songs.

9) Read uplifting books and articles.


Remember you have control over your thoughts. Take the steps to stay healthy and Make a Better You. Share your thoughts and comments on Healthy Chat with Nina.